old and new

Hye again..

Frankly speaking, I really don't know what to write on this week. I'm bloody empty with ideas. pity me. so, I went online and ting! I got an idea. Why not, I write something about picture. Ok, I'm not fond of writing a review( I'm totally bad at it), but that's the best I can come out with!

I found this picture on Devian Art. I forgot to look at the name of the photographer and I'm so lazy to google again. Sorry, mr/miss photographer.

what I can see from this picture is the difference in thought. Modern and Classic which are reflected by the building and the woman. The castle(I guess) is showing how strong it can stand in this new world which is full of technology and pollution everywhere these feet would carry. It's not even feel awkward when surrounded by this new air, instead it looks better and has it's own charisma that we can't say in words. I found that old building is something that should not be forgotten. Some people can't see the beauty that lie beneath the rock and the 100 years old woods. Speaking about appreaciating the old one, from the woman perspective, I can see that there's still someone out there who has the same thought as I am. Never neglect the old, keep, care and love them as the new one. She is enjoying the fresh environment. Sitting near the castle giving her a new life. She can smile even though there are so many issues in today's world.

My objective of writing this opinion is to evoke my thought and to appreciate art. It's kind of fun doing this.

That's all for now..

THANK YOU..

P/S: art is a reflection of life..

the best

I still remember the first day I walked in the cold new land. Alone. I didn’t with whom I can dependent on after all my strengths had gone to their own world. They were far away from my horizon. For some times, I had been thinking whether I can survive in this place. A hand grabbed me one day, gave me her beautiful smile and shared everything in the world with me since then.

we were just finished CHEMISTRY PAPER(SPM '07)

We walked together in every way we took and never forgot about each other, more than a lover. She never let me cry alone and always give me strength to stand up again. Yes, she’s my strength now. Everyone in the school can see how close we were and always labelled us as the lesbians. That made us closer each second, each minute, each hour, each day, each month, and each year.

Gossips on boys, seniors and teachers were our normal hobbies. Watching the cute seniors from the class windows was our routines. Talking on the phone for 1 hour until the bills rose up to RM100++ even though we didn’t actually have the specific idea what to talk on.

on our graduation day

How I miss all the moments with her. Funny moments. Cute moments. And not to forget, the bad ones.

Now, we are so far apart. Still the light is there because I know she will always be there for me if I need her. So, do I. I still need her shoulder when I weak. I still want to share every little thing with her. I miss her so much. And today(10th April), it’s her birthday. I can’t celebrate it with her like we used to do. I miss her so much. I feel like going to her place this second. I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY!!!

Last Wednesday, she sent me these two cute messages to tell me how much she misses me right now. I MISS YOU TOO,GURLFREN! I think she’s a bit stress this week because she’s going to have her final exam next week. This reminds of the time when we were having our PMR and SPM during our school years. We studied together and I always scolded her because she’s so stubborn. That’s the way of me showing my love ,babe. Thank God, both of us are now in a good track and I always pray for the best for her.

HAPPY BITHDAY, GURLFREN. I WISH YOU WILL HAVE A GOOD RESULT FOR YOUR FINAL EXAM AND CAN BE THE BEST MARINE BIOLOGIST ONE DAY. INSYAALLAH. DON’T EVER DARE TO FORGET ABOUT ME, OK? MAY ALLAH GIVE HIS BLESS TO YOU IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO DO. I LOVE YOU,FOREVER.=)

p/s I MISS MY PARENTS AND CATS TOO

ACA-nomics

I don't actually good at writing an academic journal which full of those pretentious words, I think. Here goes the role of my beloved thesaurus. I think I'm not going to write fully 'academic'. I try..

My journal for this week will be examined on education. To be precise, it's about someone who had cherished my Economics world. To be honest, I never liked Economics last year. I H-A-T-E IT!!! In fact, Economics WAS the NESCAFE time not only for me, but for the whole class. To addapt with the new subject was not a pleasent experience for me and I feel sorry for the lecturer because he/she tried so hard to make us understand. Result, a failure.

This year, we were hoping for a new, fresh lecturer who can knock our head with all the theories of Economics. On the first class, we met her. She had shown a good signal when she started the class with activities that made us enjoyed applying our Economics knowledge( even though it's not so much compared to what we should know). From that time, we don't need any NESCAFE and felt so fresh during the class. She just knew how to tackle her students and made everything simple and easy. Economics text are not two or three lines but pages and pages. To make it worse, the languages are not English at all( not literally).

Three months of pleasure have passed and we still imagined ourselves in the class with her. On one fine sunny day, she told us that she is no longer going to be teaching us Economics. She has been promoted by the National Bank. We can hear the thunder in our hearts. We are already in a good track, and now she's leaving us. In fact, she's already gone.

You don't how much we appreciate you, miss. You made me love the bussines cycles, the principles, the head cracking graphs and datas. Now, you are gone. Thank you so much for everything. THANK YOU, MISS JESRINA.

=(

P/S: THANK YOU TO YOU TOO,MR DERICK

what should i do more?

What should I do more?
I always ask myself why am I so dumb and the worst student in my class. Why? Yes, I’m so badly depressed right now because of my study. Why all my marks are decreasing in every test? I’m tired. Why my friends who watch anime almost every night can score better than me? Why? Should I watch anime too? I will not feel as bad as now if I didn’t study. Unfortunately, I did study and do all the works. I woke up early everyday even though my class start at 1.30 p.m. so, I can do my revision in library. I spent lots of time to write again all the notes at night. I feel like all my efforts are useless!

I don’t know what else to do with my performance. Every test is a depression injection for me and I really want to find the cure. I’m afraid if my performance is keep dropping, I will get bored with this whole thing which I don’t want. I cried almost every day recently. In my heart and sometime I cried at the roof top where I can be alone. Now, I’m still at the same place writing this post. Crying and crying. My tears are the one who’re typing this post not my fingers.
Every time I want to move on and keep fighting, there must be something that goes against it. Why I can’t get a 100% mark like them? Why am I so stupid??!!!I feel like killing myself now but that’s not the best solution.

My friends are much much better than me. If not the best in Physics, she’s the best in English and if he’s not the best in Chemistry, he’s the best in Applicable Mathematics. What about me? NONE! To those my friends, who got high marks, please don’t ever say that you are bad because you just made me feel even worse. I’m sorry because I feel this way. It’s not your fault and don’t feel bad about it.

I don’t how long I can get through this. I feel so bad towards my parents. They’re hoping the best from me and I’m just so stupid and can’t fulfil the only thing that they want.
I AM SO DEPRESSED!!!
Sorry, Mr Derick because you have to read about another depression.

p/s:
Kill me.please.

~my lover~

my life is all about you,

my day is all about you,

not even a second,

I want to erase that smile

Never..

you are everything to me..

everytime I hurt you, it kills me..

everytime those tears drop

because of me,

it makes me a wilt flower,

waiting for its time to kiss the earth.

please, don't cry..

God,

Please give them the best in everything,

I don't want to paint sorrow of

your life, my love..

how I wish I can paint rainbow

for you

every second,every minute, every hour of your life..

promise,swear

it's the only hope I can give

please don't lose faith in me..

my love to you is the most sincere thing in my life..

my care to you is the biggest thing I can give..

I want to give yo everything,

Mak...Abah...

I love you..

In my life, besides friends, my parents are my best friends. I don't have sisters to play with or brothers to wrestle with. I only have them. My parents. They always there for me when I need them. When I knew that I hurt them, I cried because I made them cried which I never wanted it to happen. I'm sorry for being such a bad daughter.I'm sorry for not giving what you want.I'm such a bad daughter.

They had sacrificed a lot for me, and this is the time for me to lessen their burden. Even though this journey is still long and tiring, I have to face it with courage. Everytime I depressed, I cried and cried at the balcony so that I would released all the pain for them. I can't be weak now. Not until I can achieved what I want for my parents. They are my lovers. No man can replace them.I love both of you..eternity..

p/s

I LOVE YOU

~Figurative Futsal~

The birds flew away as the gloomy sky chased them from its land. The sun annoyed because the bright flames of its heart had been dominated by the moisture of the wind. It was a war that morning. No one dare to go out and enjoy their life except the one who really appreciate such blessing. The trees and the earth were not only jumping joyfully but it was like a feast for them, not a war. The blood of strength flowed through their veins, gave a new meaning of life to them and the babies were crawling out from the dark, cold hole to breathe in this world. From the window, I watched it as a melancholy drama in this box of thinking. Everyone kept blaming the poor sky for what happened because they could not see the tears dropped from its eyes. The sky was crying because we are destroying this land. Every tear is the cry for help from the nature.

There goes my figurative language for the nature.

____________________________________________________________________
WAIT!!

THERE'S MORE!!

Mr Derick, I feel like writing more this week. So, I think I’m going to write about our class activity last Friday night.

It’s all started in Pizza Hut. We were having our dinner there when Izzat came and told us that we can’t play bowling that night. All lanes had been booked by TV3!! So, he said why not we play futsal instead? Are you serious?? That’s my dream! Actually he was joking at the first place and never thought that we would want to play such sport. Can you imagine a girl who always wear high heels in class ( Hani and Nad) is kicking the ball? Can you imagine a small, cute girl ( Jihah) kicked a ball like Torres? Can you imagine a girl who always with her high marks ( Tira) as the goalkeeper? Can you imagine a quiet and whose name is always pop up from the name list (Mia) tackling the ball from a boy?? Can you imagine a girl who always with Twilights and pink stuffs ( me! ) fell 3 times and still laughing?? Imagine them and they are not just imaginations. They were, and will once again be a reality. Believe it guys. We are not that girly as you think. Kick it!

My advice is for girls who always afraid to show the other side of you, don’t be. There’s nothing to lose. Just enjoy your life and be who you are in everything.

p/s: my toe and feet still hurt..

THE WORST WEEK

The worst week ever! I never felt as depressed, discontented and tired as this week before. The test is a second, third or fourth problem. There was a thing that stabbed me straight into my mind and killed me! I think I’m going to be a bit emotional in this post, but I don’t care as long as I can feel a bit satisfaction in this week by letting all my sorrow to fade away.

The story began on last Thursday. ‘Thanks a lot’ Mr Thursday. We had our Applicable Mathematics test on that day and speech as well. I felt like two lorries were on my head that day. I did try to calm down during the test but once again I want to ‘thank’ to my ‘beloved’ calculator for dying when I was just answering the third question!

Titt! Titt!
Warning: Low battery!

Thank God it didn’t lower my heart beats too. No, it’s even worst! It’s beating with the maximum frequency until I can’t breathe! Breathe in. Breathe out. I closed my eyes and try to calm down. I can do this! (I was just saying it to comfort myself during the tense moment) So, I pressed the ‘OFF’ button with the hope that it will be a last fighter too. I blanked! I didn’t know how to answer the following questions. Oh my goodness. What should I do? I felt like crying. I never thought that this will happened to me and the test was really an important thing for me. I can’t afford to fail. I was so sad because my days doing all the works and revisions were not helping me when this kind of problem occurred. I was still in the shocked mood even though the test had end.

Then, here comes the Chemistry reports. They gave me a headache! They are harder than doing the experiments in the lab. We had no idea on how are we supposed to present graphs. I mean, whether it’s a curve or not. From theories, they suppose to be straight line graphs but they end up being crazy graphs. As the result, I just followed the points and there. I got a curve graph for one of the graphs. It looked better that the previous one which was so horrible.

Here comes the holiday! Finally. Thank God. I can relax a bit and I can’t wait to see my babies!!

Till then, thank you!
=)